Anti-Jokes

[FuckTrump]

'Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup!'
'Don't worry, sir, the spider in the salad will get it.'



WAITER: 'How did you find your steak, sir?'
DINER:'Quite by accident. I moved a few peas and there it was.'



DINER:'This restaurant must have a very clean kitchen.'
OWNER:'Thank you sir, but how did you know?'
DINER:'Everything tastes of soap.'



'Waiter, what soup is this?'
'It's bean soup sir.'
'I don't care what it was, I want to know what it is now.'



'Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.'
'Who said that?'



'Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed a sheep.'
'How do you feel?'
'Very ba-a-a-ad.'



'Doctor, doctor, what can I do, my little boy has swallowed my pen?'
'Use a pencil till I get there.'



'Doctor, my family think I'm mad.'
'Why?'
'Because I like sausages.'
'Nonsense, I like sausages too.'
'You do? You must come round and see my collection. I have hundreds.'



MAN:'Ouch! A crab just bit my toe.'
DR.:'Which one?'
MAN:' I don't know, all crabs look alike to me.'





DOCTOR:'Did you drink your orange juice after your bath?'
PATIENT:'After drinking the bath I didn't have too much room for the orange juice.'





Ok I'm sorry for that post

[QueenHeather]

Love the unexpected punchlines lol

[Squirrel]

(01-29-2018, 04:21 PM)FuckTrump Wrote: 'Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup!'

'Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed a sheep.'
'How do you feel?'
'Very ba-a-a-ad.'

Ok I'm sorry for that post

LOL! That was good! I may use this one on my kids.

[Final]

These made me cringe.

[Squirrel]

(02-01-2018, 09:26 PM)Final Wrote: These made me cringe.

But c'mon, aren't there whole ranges of jokes that are supposed to make you cringe?

For example, puns?

It's good to laugh, and even if you groan, and it comes with a chuckle, I count it as good.

[Slothy]

I cant stop laughing i love jokes like these!

You made my day better thanks fella!

-Slothy