Life

[Squirrel]

(06-08-2016, 09:32 AM)V1tal Wrote:

(06-08-2016, 03:19 AM)Squirrel Wrote:

(06-07-2016, 03:53 PM)V1tal Wrote: @ℱＩＲＥ its hard to see if people regret what they've done to you. But if they regret it, and i know it, then i'll forgive them. But that doesn't means that i will be friends with them. Back when i was 8 years old i had some trouble with someone in my class, it did go too far so the director of the school kicked him out of school.

BTW: Many things that happend in my life make that opinion. But it isn't that i don't trust anyone, i give some people a second chance. Not everyone. But a third chance... it should be hard for me to give people unlimited chances. If they know you're weak, if they know you give people always a chance, they'll abuse it.

Don't show your weaknesses, because a lot of people will abuse it. -V1tal.

I agree with you.

But I also agree with @Fire -- some people you just know will make the same mistake over and over.

I was picked on a lot in grade/elementary school. I recall one day... this kid who was a complete follower. Didn't have a mind of his own, but if he saw others bothering me, well, he was going to do it too. On this particular occasion, he was going to one-up them by hitting me in the head with a rock when my back was turned. As it happened, it bonged off my skull as I was turning towards him just above the hairline, and immediately, there was a lot of blood. But I started grinning at him with this wide toothy grin, and charged towards him. He was so scared that he wet himself. He did get away, and I'm kind of glad, because I didn't have to hurt him back. But after that day, that kid, and most of the others, toned it down a lot.

Even though intimidation is just as wrong as violence itself -- it's what bullies love to use the most -- at the right moment, taking a strong and uncharacteristic action to it, can be just what you needed to gain you a bit more respect.

You say but i also agree with fire, do you agree with his 1st opinion or his second?

I agree with both of @Fire's statements.

Some people will never learn, and aren't worth your time.

While others, keeping in mind that there isn't a person alive that doesn't have faults, yourself and myself included, are capable of learning, realizing a fault of theirs, and then fixing it. Those people deserve all the chances that they want.

Now what you said initially was a bit weird, in that people usually say it backwards.

You said:

(06-07-2016, 03:53 PM)V1tal Wrote: My opinion... you can't forgive everyone who did something to you. Sometimes you just need to be strong, and just forget about people who did some bad things to you.

But usually, people say that you should forgive, but not forget. It sounds more like that you don't advocate doing either, in certain cases. How about, for the sake of this conversation, we make a third option where you choose to "not care" about whatever they did.

I feel that forgiveness is good. But if you feel you can't forgive them, then you should at least decide to leave whatever happened in the past. If you don't, you're on a road where hatred and 'revenge' make up most of the foot traffic, which is not healthy for you, nor helpful to you, and why should you let an idiot who has hurt you already, do even more damage, without them actually needing to do a thing? It's almost as if hatred and revenge, enable them to continue bothering you perpetually. And each time they laugh (they could be thinking about the comic they saw 3 days ago, and finally get why it's funny, because their brain is so limited), you wonder if they are laughing at you, which brings you close to boiling over -- yet again. (And if they realize this, chances are it gets even worse.)

So if you can "not care" but remember, then I think you're best protected from giving that guy any power to you.

I have a story which kind of illustrates my point. I had two friends, long ago, one a gal with whom I was very close, and because she had befriended this guy (even though I had prior reasons to dislike him), and forgiven him of things he did to her, I agreed with her that I'd give him another chance, and considered he and I to be "friends". So much so that once, when he was forced to move out of his home in a hurry, and he asked his available friends to help, it turned out that I was the only one who'd volunteered.

Time went on. At one point, I found myself not having enough money, or employment, and she asked him if there was anything for me where he worked. And then he got me a temporary job there. He wasn't my boss, but he was in a position of responsibility for I.T. issues.

Maybe a year later, my BFF and he got into a terrible fight, where basically he told her he wished that her two dogs would die horrible deaths. So, just like that, she told me she finally understood why I hadn't liked him from the beginning, and said I was free to dislike him again. (lol!) But of course, now I was in the awkward position of seeing this guy at work every other day or so.

He harrassed me at work as best he could. He would flash porn pictures as the 'background' on my UNIX workstation, while he was sitting somewhere behind me, with a friend of his, laughing at my plight. But I never showed a bit of recognition, and just kept on working. (I knew I couldn't do anything about it. He had I.T. admin privileges, and I was a mere worker.) I completely ignored him there, unless I needed something from him in his role. If so, I made sure someone else was nearby when I interacted with him, so he was forced to be civil. And otherwise, if he and I walked by each other in the hall, no-one could have guessed that I knew him. much less had a mighty decent reason to hate him. It drove him crazy!

I couldn't change the fact that he existed (without being rightfully imprisoned), so I chose to not care about him. I wasn't going to quit, because I enjoyed taking money from lawyers. (It was a law office.) I didn't forgive him, nor forget what he'd done, but I was damned if I was going to let him affect my life in even the smallest bit. I feel I succeeded. (And actually, I think I may have contributed to his being later fired, for showing a gross incompetancy, having solved one of their 'projects' that no-one had given much thought to, while costing them a significant amount of money.)

He's still a "Facebook friend". But to me, he doesn't exist. I don't respond to him. I don't care what he thinks or does. And I leave him there, because really, I choose not to use Facebook anyways. (They are another corporation that I consider to be partly evil.)

[Falysidia]

(06-08-2016, 10:33 AM)Squirrel Wrote:

(06-08-2016, 09:32 AM)V1tal Wrote:

(06-08-2016, 03:19 AM)Squirrel Wrote:

(06-07-2016, 03:53 PM)V1tal Wrote: @ℱＩＲＥ its hard to see if people regret what they've done to you. But if they regret it, and i know it, then i'll forgive them. But that doesn't means that i will be friends with them. Back when i was 8 years old i had some trouble with someone in my class, it did go too far so the director of the school kicked him out of school.

BTW: Many things that happend in my life make that opinion. But it isn't that i don't trust anyone, i give some people a second chance. Not everyone. But a third chance... it should be hard for me to give people unlimited chances. If they know you're weak, if they know you give people always a chance, they'll abuse it.

Don't show your weaknesses, because a lot of people will abuse it. -V1tal.

I agree with you.

But I also agree with @Fire -- some people you just know will make the same mistake over and over.

I was picked on a lot in grade/elementary school. I recall one day... this kid who was a complete follower. Didn't have a mind of his own, but if he saw others bothering me, well, he was going to do it too. On this particular occasion, he was going to one-up them by hitting me in the head with a rock when my back was turned. As it happened, it bonged off my skull as I was turning towards him just above the hairline, and immediately, there was a lot of blood. But I started grinning at him with this wide toothy grin, and charged towards him. He was so scared that he wet himself. He did get away, and I'm kind of glad, because I didn't have to hurt him back. But after that day, that kid, and most of the others, toned it down a lot.

Even though intimidation is just as wrong as violence itself -- it's what bullies love to use the most -- at the right moment, taking a strong and uncharacteristic action to it, can be just what you needed to gain you a bit more respect.

You say but i also agree with fire, do you agree with his 1st opinion or his second?

I agree with both of @Fire's statements.

Some people will never learn, and aren't worth your time.

While others, keeping in mind that there isn't a person alive that doesn't have faults, yourself and myself included, are capable of learning, realizing a fault of theirs, and then fixing it. Those people deserve all the chances that they want.

Now what you said initially was a bit weird, in that people usually say it backwards.

You said:

(06-07-2016, 03:53 PM)V1tal Wrote: My opinion... you can't forgive everyone who did something to you. Sometimes you just need to be strong, and just forget about people who did some bad things to you.

But usually, people say that you should forgive, but not forget. It sounds more like that you don't advocate doing either, in certain cases. How about, for the sake of this conversation, we make a third option where you choose to "not care" about whatever they did.

I feel that forgiveness is good. But if you feel you can't forgive them, then you should at least decide to leave whatever happened in the past. If you don't, you're on a road where hatred and 'revenge' make up most of the foot traffic, which is not healthy for you, nor helpful to you, and why should you let an idiot who has hurt you already, do even more damage, without them actually needing to do a thing? It's almost as if hatred and revenge, enable them to continue bothering you perpetually. And each time they laugh (they could be thinking about the comic they saw 3 days ago, and finally get why it's funny, because their brain is so limited), you wonder if they are laughing at you, which brings you close to boiling over -- yet again. (And if they realize this, chances are it gets even worse.)

So if you can "not care" but remember, then I think you're best protected from giving that guy any power to you.

I have a story which kind of illustrates my point. I had two friends, long ago, one a gal with whom I was very close, and because she had befriended this guy (even though I had prior reasons to dislike him), and forgiven him of things he did to her, I agreed with her that I'd give him another chance, and considered he and I to be "friends". So much so that once, when he was forced to move out of his home in a hurry, and he asked his available friends to help, it turned out that I was the only one who'd volunteered.

Time went on. At one point, I found myself not having enough money, or employment, and she asked him if there was anything for me where he worked. And then he got me a temporary job there. He wasn't my boss, but he was in a position of responsibility for I.T. issues.

Maybe a year later, my BFF and he got into a terrible fight, where basically he told her he wished that her two dogs would die horrible deaths. So, just like that, she told me she finally understood why I hadn't liked him from the beginning, and said I was free to dislike him again. (lol!) But of course, now I was in the awkward position of seeing this guy at work every other day or so.

He harrassed me at work as best he could. He would flash porn pictures as the 'background' on my UNIX workstation, while he was sitting somewhere behind me, with a friend of his, laughing at my plight. But I never showed a bit of recognition, and just kept on working. (I knew I couldn't do anything about it. He had I.T. admin privileges, and I was a mere worker.) I completely ignored him there, unless I needed something from him in his role. If so, I made sure someone else was nearby when I interacted with him, so he was forced to be civil. And otherwise, if he and I walked by each other in the hall, no-one could have guessed that I knew him. much less had a mighty decent reason to hate him. It drove him crazy!

I couldn't change the fact that he existed (without being rightfully imprisoned), so I chose to not care about him. I wasn't going to quit, because I enjoyed taking money from lawyers. (It was a law office.) I didn't forgive him, nor forget what he'd done, but I was damned if I was going to let him affect my life in even the smallest bit. I feel I succeeded. (And actually, I think I may have contributed to his being later fired, for showing a gross incompetancy, having solved one of their 'projects' that no-one had given much thought to, while costing them a significant amount of money.)

He's still a "Facebook friend". But to me, he doesn't exist. I don't respond to him. I don't care what he thinks or does. And I leave him there, because really, I choose not to use Facebook anyways. (They are another corporation that I consider to be partly evil.)

Interesting story
True... it happened to me as well
But, time passes, as humans do
Try to forgive/forget
Try to make a new beginning
Try to be more strong
Try to be more happy
Try to be proud of you actions in life, no matter where or when it happens

[~XC]

Okay im sorry but @V1tal you made him wet his pants LOL

[V1tal]

(06-08-2016, 11:27 PM)~XC Wrote: Okay im sorry but @V1tal you made him wet his pants LOL

Hahaha who do you mean?

[Breakfast]

i agree .

[Mikasa]

This thread might be THE thread to read to chear everyone up.