Anti-Jokes

[FuckTrump]

'Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup!'
'Don't worry, sir, the spider in the salad will get it.'



WAITER: 'How did you find your steak, sir?'
DINER:'Quite by accident. I moved a few peas and there it was.'



DINER:'This restaurant must have a very clean kitchen.'
OWNER:'Thank you sir, but how did you know?'
DINER:'Everything tastes of soap.'



'Waiter, what soup is this?'
'It's bean soup sir.'
'I don't care what it was, I want to know what it is now.'



'Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.'
'Who said that?'



'Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed a sheep.'
'How do you feel?'
'Very ba-a-a-ad.'



'Doctor, doctor, what can I do, my little boy has swallowed my pen?'
'Use a pencil till I get there.'



'Doctor, my family think I'm mad.'
'Why?'
'Because I like sausages.'
'Nonsense, I like sausages too.'
'You do? You must come round and see my collection. I have hundreds.'



MAN:'Ouch! A crab just bit my toe.'
DR.:'Which one?'
MAN:' I don't know, all crabs look alike to me.'





DOCTOR:'Did you drink your orange juice after your bath?'
PATIENT:'After drinking the bath I didn't have too much room for the orange juice.'





Ok I'm sorry for that post